Biker party

So do you see me? You have to look hard because I was wearing a disguise. Alright I don't think you can find me so I will just tell you. I will just circle me. I am sitting and I have a short wig on and a mustache. Yep now you see me. I am the older gentleman next to the old lady.

All my friends were like "Look dude, biker chicks are the hottest, what you need to do is go to one of those all day biker things and hook it up there." Well you know how I do. I basically just travel around looking for the ladies so I figured why not. But I could not roll in looking the way I do, they would never believe I have ever been on a bike in my life let alone be a real biker. So I went for the fake mustache with a ton of leather. I had on leather chaps but they were like no that is too far so I just went jeans and surprisingly I fit in. But don't worry my boots were leather and my chair that I fold up was even leather.

So I get there early, and there is like five people there. I was like this is so lame but I got to hold it out for some dyed blonde's. So I plop my leather chair down next to this old lady and see if she thinks I am a true biker. I figure if I could fool this old lady who I am sure has been around the block more then a few times, I could fool anyone here. So I say "I love harley's." She said sit down you old biker you, which right then I knew I was in. She was hitting on me hard all day but I was like look your to old for me, it is not going to happen unless it's with another women then maybe.

So as the day goes along I am just checking out tail, seeing who I can knock the leather boots off of, then I spot her, you see the one in the front of the picture. No not the goofy one with the USA Bruce Springsteen bandanna, even though she wanted me bad. No the one with the blond hair. I have a thing for blonde's but how was I gonna get past the other bandanna guy. WTF is up with all the bandanna's? So I pull two guys with no shirt on, aside and I'm like first off where is your guys leather at? Second I need you to divert the attention away from this guy over there so I can get with the hottie. So what happens is the first guy with no shirt on goes over and starts a fight with a dude, then the second guy which you see right now, he is heading over toward the fight and he is going to ask the bandanna guy to help. Now what you don't see is I am about to go start waxing down the green bike like it's mine and be like "I don't know what is hotter, you or this bike right here." "I would love to take both of you for a ride." Boom she is mine.

So I knew it, she wanted me bad, so I am like "look road whore lets go back to one of those bike trailers and leave a sign up: if the trailer is a rockin don't come a knockin. Don't worry I already have one made" I pull it out of my pants. I say to her "I can't wait to see if your a natural blond." So she is all about it and we find an empty trailer and I leave the sign. The thing was we are getting so hot and heavy I forgot that I had a fake mustache and wig on. So during the make out session my mustache falls off and she is like wtf? are you here just to pick up biker chicks with dyed hair. What about all this leather is that just part of it? Then she was like I am going to get my boyfriend on you, we hate fake bikers" So I just bolt out of there just wearing my leather undies, which by the way I had a huge rash for days. I ruined that one like always. She was a hot biker chick but I don't know if that is the crowd I want to run with. To much leather for me.