Don’t pay attention to those goofs in the forefront. Like normal, I am somewhere in the back. Do you see me, yep that is me dressed up as a cop looking around for tail. I know your thinking why a cop, and to that I would say stop being dumb, we all know women love men in a uniform. So here was the plan: I would dress up like a cop and then stand there with my arms crossed looking very official and then occasionally yell out things like hey be careful you may get arrested because you’re so hot. They looked at me like yeah ok, sure that is a law. Oh I also forgot to mention that my nametag says Perv. No one questioned if that was my last name because of fear of getting arrested. I did have a few girls come up to me and ask if I wanted to have a drink but I was like listen I am on duty right now, maybe afterwards, and maybe if you get two more girls to come along and maybe if you promise me some butt. If not run along, I have to patrol this crazy party, also you may want to tell that girl in the high soccer socks she may be arrested if she doesn’t take those off and turn her kangol hat around like Samuel L. Jackson because I don’t like her look. So in the end I didn’t get any girls, I just kept running to different spots and talking into my walkie talkie, like something important was going on. I wonder if anyone caught on that they were fisher price. Right at the end of my shift these two numb nut drunk guys started going at it, gay fighting and stuff, some of the people loved it, and some of the annoying girls were like STOP!!! I was like yeah hit him in the face hard, then I realized I was supposed to be a cop plus those annoying girls were like Officer Perv do something, so after a huge sigh to let them know I was annoyed, I was like come on fellas break it up, then I punched one of them in the face and cuffed him told the crowd there is nothing to see here, and then walked away into the sunlight. I wonder how he got those cuffs off.
